Don’t Let Anybody Tell You That You Can’t
June 26th, 2008
If you are going to create and implement meaningful, proactive projects then there are going to be many ‘naysayers’ along the way.
Don’t listen to them.
In fact turn around and head in the opposite direction. There are people out there who believe in you. Who want you to succeed and can even help you to get started.
We all have self-doubt to contend with so adding negative people into the mix can stop you, or worse, they can add to your frustration and cause you to give up in anger.
You have the power in you. In fact, you (we!) can change the world.
It is easy to become cynical and negative. Sometimes we have to change ourselves before we can change the world, but it can be done.
What is it that you want to do? You CAN do it. I believe in you.
Have a great weekend.
Mark
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June 26th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Hi Mark
Long time no chat!
This is a timely little reminder for me because I started working back on my novel while overseas and I also decided I’d really like to start creative writing workshops.
It’s an idea I’ve had for awhile but I haven’t been sure how to go about it, so it’s been put on the back burner.
I had a cup of tea with a family member yesterday and I mentioned the idea to them and they immediately said “But you didn’t finish your Masters. Don’t you have to have some kind of proper qualification to do that?”
By last night I felt thoroughly negative about the whole idea because in truth i don’t have a concrete plan yet, but reading this has firmed up my resolve. I may not know the HOW yet or the details of what I want to do but I’m not going to push this idea away again. I’m going to stick with it and work it out.
Thanks for strengthening my resolve Mark.
Kelly
June 26th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
This is one of those things that we must keep reminding ourselves of. It is so easy to let the noise get to us. I am learning to be more selective about the people I call my peers. It has its challenges but being selective about my circle of influence is starting to pay off in many ways.
June 27th, 2008 at 4:21 am
*Hi Kelly -THANKS! Your comment has made my morning.
I got some good news yesterday about a project that I will be launching soon. As a result I drafted this post really quick in case there was anyone else out there who is trying to start something but is either getting negative feedback or combating self doubt.
Creative writing workshops sounds like a fantastic idea for you. How about online creative writing workshops? *raises hand to sign up*
June 27th, 2008 at 9:07 am
Hi Daryle - I certainly agree with you that it is easy to let the noise get to us! What new projects are you working on?
June 27th, 2008 at 11:06 am
Mark:
Great links from your post. Every time I called my MOM, she always asked me when I will go back to find a job and earn static salary.
In 1996, I came to USA and changed my major from Molecular Biology to Computer graphics. My MOM was so upset about the change I made. She kept calling me a loser. She stop calling me loser when I prove to her with my pay check as an IT consultant.
In 2006, I decided to quit my job and become my own boss. I don’t earn as much as I used to be as IT Consultant. My MOM is upset and start calling me a loser again. She could not understand why I quite my well pay IT consultant job and go for something is very unknown.
I don’t get upset, because it actually motivates me to work on my dream. Being called a loser actually stimulates me to work harder to prove that I am not what they think.
It depends on how you take on what people said. You have to believe in yourself and keep your faith. If you have any doubt that you may be a loser, you are already a loser.
June 27th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Hi Terence - I like how you put your mom’s name in all caps! Is she in Taiwan?
I am sure now she is very proud of you and your online empire.
June 27th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Mark:
Actually, my MOM keeps mocking me. Yes. She is in Taiwan. She keeps mocking me to sent her the stuff I am selling online, in case I don’t make any sales. From her stand points, I was not born with business sense in me.
She also keeps asking me how much I have made through my online stores. You know what. They will never satisfied regardless how much I earned.
Anyway, prove that I can be success to my parents is nothing. Prove to myself that I can be one is more important.
My wife has been very supportive. She just told me yesterday that the Chinese movie director LI AN (Ang Lee) spent 6 years to find his way up to become famous in Hollywood.
I have few more years to reach that. :-)
June 30th, 2008 at 7:19 am
Mark you make such an excellent point here. We’d all be better off to hang with folks who support us unconditionally. It’s so easy to be a naysayer but when we realize it’s the naysayer who is really afraid their advice becomes meaningless to us.
July 1st, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Your post was just what I needed this morning! I’m still struggling to get all the technical bits right in order to launch my Ebook this coming week.
Suddenly I had a flash about what my next Ebook will be about. I can hear people saying, “Oh no - that’s not a good idea. Won’t work. You won’t earn a dime.” But, what the heck! Just let me get this one out and then I’ll dive right in :-)
Cheers
Mary
July 3rd, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Reading what Terence had to say about his Mom calling him a loser caused my brain to go WAIT!! How about when we get that message we take it in as LOOSER - as in, our lives are looser than they were when we conformed, kept the static, perhaps better-paying job, spent too much of our time in a corporate cubicle, etc. YEAH! I like the LOOSER more free approach. And Terence, it sounds like you are on your path. I wish you continued joy and delight and prosperity!
July 4th, 2008 at 9:13 am
Hi Mark - This is a great reminder. Certain members of my family behave more like enemies sometimes, so it’s nice to have someone like you there reminding me that my goals are achievable.
July 5th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Hi Mark! Hi Terence!
Long time no chat, for sure!
I was so glad to run into this post. Just what I needed *when* I needed it. I have been starting a membership site for what seems like the last, well, three centuries.
I wished I had not said anything to anyone because it gets embarrassing to not “be there” yet. The site has not launched yet — it’s been slow going. Terence, I have not had anyone calling me a loser but I really admore the way you turn it to strength. I am usually too easily impacted by what family and friends think. The “polite” silence when I first mentioned it was bad enough. :)
So I will keep on plugging with better cheer. I know it’s going to be good. One reason I’m doing this (on line work) is to be free of external deadlines, looser. It’s ready when it’s ready! I just thought of the old proverb, “Wear life like a loose garment.” :)
Thanks again for the post, Mark.
July 6th, 2008 at 8:51 am
@everyone - thanks for your kind comments!
*Hi Essie - The reason I drafted this post was because I am falling behind on a launch schedule that I had for a project that I am working on.
Of course, self doubt settled in once I passed my self imposed deadline so this post was a little kick in the a$$ for myself.:)
July 6th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Thanks again for the inspiring and motivational post, Mark. There’s an old saying, that I always like to live by: ‘if there’s a will, there’s a way.’ If you can put your mind to it, you can overcome virtually any obstacle.
July 8th, 2008 at 7:08 am
Mark,
That is so funny you write this because just the other day I was chatting with a friend about some major work being done in my yard (we have over 3 acres) and I was telling her that I could do the work myself if someone just believed in me. It required operating some heavy equipment and I was a bit intimidated. She said she believed in me and so of course, I did the work myself! It was awesome!
July 14th, 2008 at 5:56 am
in criminology theory it called ‘the self full filing prophecy’…
our behavior are depend on how we think about our self…
July 16th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Mark,
It’s odd to feel this through the impersonal web, but I actually have the sensation that you DO believe in me. I appreciate that.
July 27th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Despite others holding people back, it is often their own self-limiting beliefs that makes things even more difficult to grasp as a possibility.
I’ve met a lot of awesome people recently who had great ideas they just didn’t believe they could go out there and do them. Not because people had put them off they just didn’t believe in themselves.
I believe in you too ;)
August 4th, 2008 at 4:19 am
The way I see it, we have two choices in life: 1.) we can let other people’s perception of us manifest itself into reality, or 2.) we can decide for ourselves what our future will be. I choose the latter! Ultimately, it’s our choice…
August 27th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Hi Mark,
That post hit the spot! I have nay-sayers in my family and it’s taken me thirty odd years to realise that their negativity is because of their own insecurities. Of being left behind, of not achieving whatever they have wanted to, of not having the motivation - the fire in the belly - to just start the project without overanalysing.
The day I stopped seeking approval is the day I began a better and more fulfilled life. I have jumped in with both feet into areas that just felt good and with no idea where the road would take me. And I’m here to report I’ve been rewarded many times over for this attitude.