Push Beyond Fear and Bust Down the Door to a Successful Life
January 18th, 2008
What is a successful life? How can we judge or measure such an innately personal concept?
We all define success differently. Some people love being a stockbroker, attending power lunches, and working one hundred hours per week.
Conversely, some might want a more quiet, less hectic existence, a large family, or perhaps, to be their own boss? Maybe, you would like to travel the globe, write about your experience, and earn a living via freelancing…
However you define success, if fear is holding you back from pursuing your dreams let’s see if we can take some steps toward overcoming it together.
Fear defined and some examples
According to Free Dictionary, fear can be defined as, “being uneasy or apprehensive.” When applied to changing jobs, or starting a new venture, fear then means that you are anxious or uneasy about taking the initial steps toward your goal.
The other day I had a guest post published over at AnyWired.com titled “Taking Your Show On The Road: 10 Tips To Help You Escape the Office.” The article discussed how you can begin to remove yourself from the corporate environment if you would like to pursue other avenues of existence. Two of the comments that were made in response to the post really stood out and caught my attention. One almost knocked me off my chair due too its candid nature.
In the first comment, Michael Brito stated, “…I used to get that feeling. Sometimes while walking to work I would pray (maybe not the right word because I’m not religious) for a car to hit me so that I would have an excuse to not show up.” Yikes! For those of us who have done jobs that we can’t stand, I am sure that we can all sympathize with Michael. Heck, I have had some jobs that turned me into a walking zombie and they sucked the life out of me.
For example number two, Al commented, “I’ve had much bigger problems with my own negativity and doubt.” When I read that statement I was happy that Al brought the subject up in his remarks because I believe fear, negativity, and doubt holds many people back from pursuing personal freedom.
Let me state for the record, both of the above comments truly resonated with me because I have been in their shoes!
Additionally, as my friend Dan Clements, author of Escape 101, states –
“Leaving is actually easy. It’s the thinking about leaving that’s hard.”
So what is a successful life?
I define a person (myself included) as having a successful life if they have the courage to pursue their passion with peaceful contentment. Certainly, I am NOT stating that this is the only way one can be successful. Rather, it’s a definition that I choose to adhere to.
Failure and fear are always going to occur but if you are willing, and motivated enough, to pursue your passion then I believe that you are well on your way toward a successful life. As opposed to many people who passively (BY CHOICE) maintain the status quo within their lives.
How do you move beyond fear?
I am quite certain that fear, self-doubt, and negative input from other people holds back many a would be person from pursuing either personal freedom, or choosing to live a life that they deem successful.
While not being set in stone, the following are some of the techniques that I have used to help me:
- Start in increments – I have used this example before, but I really think it is one of the keys to success. You can’t expect to have immediate overnight success (unless you’re really lucky) but you can take small steps everyday toward the life that you would consider successful. If you don’t like your job and think you might like to be a pilot then pay for an hour of flight time at a small regional airport. Not only will this start you down the new path but it would also provide you with a chance to network and ask some questions to people who are doing what you want to do.
- Write out your plans/ideas – it might sound morbid but make a list of what you would like to do if you only had six months to live. Putting your ideas on paper can help you to visualize exactly what it is that you want to do. For example, if you want to travel the globe with a backpack then begin to write down the countries that you would like to visit, how long you would like to stay, and some of the attractions that you would like to see.
- Seek input from other people – I get at least one email per week from people all over the world asking me how I moved to the Caribbean, what was the Peace Corps like, or why I chose to live where I am? You will find that most people are more than happy to provide constructive input and to help you. If someone doesn’t respond, just move on to the next person.
- Surround yourself with optimistic people – it is going to be awfully hard to pursue your goal(s) if the people around you are constantly telling you that you can’t do this or that.
- Believe in yourself - sometimes challenging and difficult but a negatvie attitude will not get you anywhere.
- Be flexible/adaptable – I tried for FIVE years to start a business on one Caribbean Island and was consistently turned down because I was not from there. At any point I could have easily given up. But, with a little flexibility and adaptability in my plan everything finally worked out and I was able to achieve success.
- Give your idea a shot – if you never try, you will never know. You don’t want to be that person who “almost” invented something.
Ok - now what?
Not wishing to sound like I have all the answers, or wanting to come across as a hypocrite, I have quite a few ideas that I, too, am holding back on. For whatever reason, fear, lack of time, laziness (or a combination of all three) I am not quite sure what I am waiting for in order to get started.
Specifically, one of my goals is to create a freely distributed ebook/manual for humanitarian organizations, which will teach them how to utilize blogging and social media to help raise awareness and funds for their particular cause. At the moment I have a working table of contents and not much more…
Where are you in the pursuit of your successful life?
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January 18th, 2008 at 7:52 am
I am starting to knock down some initial goals and try to kick my life into high gear:
- less than one year to my Bachelor’s degree
- making real progress with my websites
- set up an automatic investing system for my personal finances
In spite of all this I feel that I could be doing more as well. There are projects and business ideas in my head that I don’t act on. I am only partially motivated to create and try to drive my current business interests. I feel like I could be doing more. Fear of failure is not the problem; fear of success might be holding me back as I still work a 9 to 5.
I really like your idea for a free eBook and I’m going to try to motivate myself on a similar project. Thanks for the inspirational post!
January 18th, 2008 at 8:01 am
Hi Patrick - I wish you the best of luck and I really like your idea of setting up an automatic investing system for your finances. Do they have software for that already? Or, is it something you will create?
January 18th, 2008 at 8:16 am
Thanks for this, Mark - nice post.
Nearly 20 years ago, I made my “before I croak” list. It’s changed and morphed over the years, but one thing has remained constant: the insight and momentum that comes from envisioning what I’d do if there were no boundaries in my life.
It’s remarkable what you set in motion just by IMAGINING you have no fear.
Love the ebook idea. What a big, wonderful vision!
January 18th, 2008 at 8:29 am
Hi Dan - I am glad you like the ebook idea! Hey, aren’t you an author - hint, hint :)
Just kidding, I figure by putting it out there now I have to get off my a$$ and commit fully.
January 18th, 2008 at 9:11 am
hey Mark - thank you so much for linking up with my bucket list. I really think believing in yourself and surrounding yourself with positive optimistic people is a must for any kind of journey to success.
will be looking forward to your ebook :)
January 18th, 2008 at 9:29 am
Wow, what a powerful article. It really gets you thinking, huh? Thanks for linking to me. :)
Warmly,
Tina
January 18th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
What an amazing article, Mark!! The part that got to me the most is “How do you move beyond fear?”.
I think in the past I have let many negative thoughts and my issues will self-doubt hold me back. I’ve gotten a lot better at moving past those thoughts, but I’m still working on that. It will probably be a life long thing for me… something that just comes over time with life and experience.
Thank you so much for the mention.
Shana
January 18th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Great post, Mark! I agree totally with your description of success, and your tips for achieving the goals.
One thing that I have been thinking a lot about is the question of whether you should surround yourself with _only_ positive people or if some negative people can in fact fuel some passion in you.
I mean, at best, having someone around who is a bit critical about your ideas can make you want to show them that you can make it. And by listening the critic and finding out where he/she is right can make your idea even better than if you only get positive feedback…
Just a thought :)
January 18th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Hi Pearl - thanks for stopping by and for providing the idea for the list.
January 18th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Hi Tina - not quite as long as the great articles that you publish but I am trying :)
Hi Shana - I think negative thoughts are something that we all deal with…I always envy people who seem to glide through life effortlessly.
January 18th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Hi Jarkko - that is a brilliant idea to keep some negative people around. Next time I am adding that to the list.
I know I try my hardest as soon as someone tells me that I CAN’T do something.
January 19th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Mark - great post. It is funny how seeing something written out can really make you look at it from another angle.
Prior to reading this article I really didn’t give much thought to the fact that I have always thought of people who go the unbeaten path to get to their dreams as succesful yet for my self I have always chased success through convential means.
Thanks for the kick in the seat to do something about applying my views to myself the way I do others.
Ron
January 19th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
Hi Ron - thank you for posting your thoughts!
Go Patriots.
Mark
January 20th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
I always like your self fulfillment articles the best…so you write as an individual; but we know you are half of a couple. How does this enter into some of these decisions and experiences?
January 20th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Hi E&S - asking the tough questions…The other half is the support network :-)
January 20th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
I personally believe, success in life is something which cannot be defined, until we are dead. On the day you die, if you don’t have anything to regret of your life, then that’s called success in life!
But, how to make sure we achieve that? We don’t know when we are going to die, exactly?
Well the answer is; live like that you are going to die tomorrow. So, you are not allow to “carry forward” any regrets from today, to tomorrow. You have to end today, without any regrets. That is “make sure your TODAY is successful”.
Very simple approach. But it works!