Ten Simple and Effective Ways to Let People Know They Matter
December 24th, 2007
Do you let people know that they matter?
I am not usually prone to post about such topics but recently I was the recipient of an amazingly thoughtful gift that while not expensive, really made me feel like someone cared - “that I mattered.”

the gift that inspired this post!
Then I realized, do we spend enough time letting people, even strangers, know that they matter? Kindness is FREE, it doesn’t cost a penny.
Well, being a firm believer in the saying, “it starts with one person to make the change” here are ten simple ways to show people that they matter as we head into the New Year.
This is the list that I have come up with so far as I strive to be a better person in 2008:
*Smile
Smiles cost absolutely nothing and there is a good chance you might just brighten someone’s day and change their whole outlook.
*Do a random act of kindness
I am constantly amazed at how many people will not even hold the door open for folks entering the same building. A random act of kindness does not have to be a huge gesture, but even letting someone cross the street, or giving way to an oncoming car, can have an impact.
*Listen
Listening is a great way to let people know that they matter. If someone comes to you seeking your input on an issue, don’t dismiss them and hope that they will go bother someone else. Have a little patience and take the time to truly listen.
*Help someone who is less fortunate than you.
The people of the world are more productive and wealthy than ever before. However, there are an amazing amount of global citizens who are having a very difficult time trying to survive from day to day. If you have the chance, even if it is in your hometown, go ahead and help a person (or family) who might not have as much as you.
*Give someone a chance
I know it is a big step but if you know of an individual, or even have an acquaintance, that has been trying to become your friend, or get to know you better, then go ahead and give them a chance. You never know, they might become your best friend.
*Assist a neighbor
In this day and age, at least in the U.S. many of us don’t even know our neighbors. I wonder if this is true for all of the world? Next time you see your neighbor, especially if they are a senior citizen, give them a hand or offer to carry in their groceries.
*Respond to an email
With respect to the interview series that I am currently running, I have to send many emails, whether it is an initial inquiry or a follow up to determine if someone will participate. If you receive emails (from anyone) take a few minutes out of your busy schedule to reply. Or, better yet, send an unsolicited email to an old friend, or someone who posted something that made you think, or smile.
*Don’t be judgmental
I realize that this can be difficult at times, and we all have preconceived notions when dealing with people, however, make an effort not to judge the people that you come into contact with and I am sure many will appreciate your efforts.
*Give a simple gift
Without a doubt, the best gifts are free. To let someone know that they matter try giving a simple gift (a note, a picture, etc).
*Be nice
I cannot quantify this with any scientific proof, but I would have to believe that it takes far less energy to be nice to people than it does to be mean or angry towards them. So, the next time you have the opportunity be nice to someone and I am sure it will come back to you many times over.
What are your suggestions to let someone know that they matter?
Happy Holidays!! And remember kindness doesn’t cost a penny :)
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December 25th, 2007 at 3:28 am
Hey Mark, are you moving to write more on personal development stuff? I’ve noticed a shift in your blogging focus.
That’s aside, just want to say I really attest to “give a simple gift”. I used to receive little small postcards from my ex-ex-boss and I really felt appreciated by her small gesture. Somehow or rather, it made me worked harder. Haha.
Cheers,
Ellesse
December 25th, 2007 at 4:38 am
Greetings Ellesse - That is funny that you worked harder :)
No, I have not changed my focus…just writing some different stuff to get through the holidays (and because I lost about 70 post ideas a week ago in a jump drive crash).
December 25th, 2007 at 8:13 am
Thanks for linking me. Much appreciated. :)
Love & Gratitude,
Tina
Think Simple Now. ~ Clarity & Happiness
December 25th, 2007 at 9:52 pm
Some of the things mentioned here, has a direct relationship with the culture we brought up. For example, “assist neighbor/friends” is one of the most common methods of showing our care towards them, in my country. If you meet some one (a neighbor or a friend) on the bus or train, and would pay for his/her tickets? Now, that’s a common practice in Sri Lanka! People do that, just to show “I do care about you”. It never implies the message “Poor guy! Don’t you have money to buy your ticket? Let me buy it for you”
And I remember a lesson I got from one of my earliest teachers on Marketing. A good marketer should always possess a “wide and genuine smile”. That smile will say to your customer “I care!”. But, remember. It has to be a genuine smile.
I’m not boasting about my culture, but in Asian cultures, (In places like India, Sri Lanka, Thailand etc) most of the things listed above are practiced in everyday life. That’s why the tourism industry is picking up in this region so fast. Come to Sri Lanka or India, and you won’t find that “unhappy and rude receptionist” at your London hotel, who ruined your morning!
May be it has something to do with the competition you face in life. In our countries, people are far more relaxed than in the US, when it comes to day to day life. People value more, the relationships you create/maintained during the day, than how much you earned during the day.
Again. Culture has a big role to play in this respect. And I have no intention of making any offense to your culture :-)
December 26th, 2007 at 2:39 am
Ami - those are really good points about culture! Where I was just living in the Caribbean it was considered extremely rude if you walked past someone and did not say ‘good morning’ or ‘good night.’ But, this was mainly amongst locals as they did not really care for tourists…