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This morning I was sitting at the Road Town Bakery here in the British Virgin Islands (BVI) and there were some very jolly cruise ship visitors sitting at the table next to me commenting on the chickens running all around them and discussing the oppressive heat. When they noticed I had a BVI government shirt on they asked the question I seem to get quite regularly, “you live here?” and followed up with the customary “you must love it!” Well, today I was in a particularly good mood because we closed on the Culebra property yesterday so I did my best to explain that while, yes the BVI’s are a great place to live, it does come with certain challenges. When I was done, I am not actually sure they “got” it.

Strangely enough, later on in the morning I was checking a travel forum that I look at occasionally and saw a post looking for advice or comments on the time that it takes to adjust to a new place when living and working overseas (not necessarily specific to the Caribbean). So I took one more crack at it, this time in writing. Below is what I came up with and it is based solely on my experiences and some discussions that we had while in the Peace Corps:

My wife and I have a bit of experience living overseas and adjusting to new places and cultures. We have always found that adjusting after a move comes in sort of three stages without any definable time limits because the stages are based on the individual. If you were to draw it out like a map the adjustment period might look like a rising peak, followed by a valley, and then leveling off to a coastal plain.

More specifically, the first stage is the honeymoon period, which is characterized by an irrational love of everything (both good and bad) that your new location has to offer. For example, the beaches are unreal, the folks here sure do drive crazy but that’s ok I’ll wear my seatbelt, or my personal favorite – you mean you don’t have any raisin bran in stock without bugs, boy that’s great I love this place this must be one of those cultural differences I heard about before I moved.

The second stage, which can creep up unnoticed, is a complete one-eighty change from stage one and is quite easy to distinguish because you will now display a very strong disdain and hate for everything your new location has to offer. For example, what do you mean you can’t fix my god dam electricity for two weeks!!!? Or, if I have to wait five hours to pay my phone bill again today I just might go insane and start banging my head against the wall to kill the time. And the favorite, you don’t have any raisin bran in stock without bugs? I truly detest this place why on earth did I move here?

The third stage is the leveling off period where you find a balance between stages one and two. You will know you’re in the third and final stage when, driving to the store to get the now ubiquitous raisin bran a cement truck coming in the other direction tries to kill you by running you off the road and you begin to shout expletives and lose your temper but then you remember…after you stop at the store you’re going to the beach and some friends that you talked to just that morning were digging out from another foot of snow.

Of course, the times vary greatly depending on the individual and their particular circumstance. Also, I will have to assume that some version of the same adjustment process is true for people who come to live in the U.S.A.

p.s. We will be going through the adjustment cycle ourselves pretty soon when we move up to Culebra…here we are at the closing yesterday.